Year 2010 will be a year full of challenges ahead. I had just tender my resignation on 28th Dec. Oh well, at least I feel more happy now. Currently m down with a bad flu and a slight fever. Can't wait for the partyyy to get started. I guess I would have to stay in bed then.
Resolutions? I will come up with it soon, I hope!
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
New Look & Birthday Celebration
Blog Look - Please be patient with me! :D
I will be dressed in Santarina outfit for Friday event. HAHAHA! :)
This is funny because I am planning and paying every single thing by myself.
I will be dressed in Santarina outfit for Friday event. HAHAHA! :)
This is funny because I am planning and paying every single thing by myself.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Resolutions...
Nothing made but I need to fullfill all these by end of Year 2010:
1. Take a Class 2B License
2. Pick up a Music Instrument
3. Pick up a New Dance Routine
4. Set up my Business
5. Graduated from my Degree
and the list goes on...
I will update it again. :)
1. Take a Class 2B License
2. Pick up a Music Instrument
3. Pick up a New Dance Routine
4. Set up my Business
5. Graduated from my Degree
and the list goes on...
I will update it again. :)
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Being Blind & Deaf
Sometimes being blind and deaf doesn't mean I can't see or hear is that I can see and hear but I just couldn't be bother with it. I m blogging in the darkness in the office and printing an important piece of document out.
How great right? Weekends, spending time for event and sick. HAHAHAHA!
How great right? Weekends, spending time for event and sick. HAHAHAHA!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
HROD
1 last paper and poof! the magic is here.
1 more day before I end all my misery.
1 more week to my belated birthday celebration...
1 more month before it's a brand new year.
1 more year before everything is stablise...
Anyway, I simply just can't wait for Friday to come.
1 more day before I end all my misery.
1 more week to my belated birthday celebration...
1 more month before it's a brand new year.
1 more year before everything is stablise...
Anyway, I simply just can't wait for Friday to come.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Weekends.
ue to the stress I face at Work & Exams, I went to do something suicidal to my hair. Went for a dye and a cut. Guess what? It was horrendous and the following day, I went to rebond every single strand and currently I look super KAWAII.
I will never cut my fringe ever again and is trying all ways to grow it back. :(
I will never cut my fringe ever again and is trying all ways to grow it back. :(
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Workaholic
The work-life balance me is no longer there. I am here, typing out my fucking shit ass report for November and doing Marketing stuffs for the youths. I cannot believe it please. :( Watch Mulan just now. Nice show and definitely will recommend to all.
Exams coming and starting from this Saturday onwards.
12/12 - 9.30am for MDP @ Starhub Centre Room 403
15/12 - 7.00pm for CB @ Starhub Centre Room 403
17/12 - 7.00pm for HROD @ Starhub Centre Room 402
Great, I have not start revising. God damn it!
Exams coming and starting from this Saturday onwards.
12/12 - 9.30am for MDP @ Starhub Centre Room 403
15/12 - 7.00pm for CB @ Starhub Centre Room 403
17/12 - 7.00pm for HROD @ Starhub Centre Room 402
Great, I have not start revising. God damn it!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Work
I am stuck in the office from 7am to 7pm (tentatively) on a Saturday. Great. I lovehate my job. And I seriously wanted to get my ass on that Singapore Flyer and had an international veggie buffet. Anyone?
Counting down to exams and christmas.
Counting down to exams and christmas.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
M for Money, Marriage, Man
Ok, on that note, I need to save money sia. Had been spending like no one business and I need to take control of my finance again. :)
Marriage, had to attend to some wedding of the year in Dec. Hmmm rubbing salt onto my wound. Well... Have no say in life I guess. Live it the way it is and regret or fight to pursue?
Went for a Kbox session with buddies yesterday and we sang till 2am. Well I guess I was feeling damn emo back then when tears start building up like no one business. Ha!
Marriage, had to attend to some wedding of the year in Dec. Hmmm rubbing salt onto my wound. Well... Have no say in life I guess. Live it the way it is and regret or fight to pursue?
Went for a Kbox session with buddies yesterday and we sang till 2am. Well I guess I was feeling damn emo back then when tears start building up like no one business. Ha!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Numb
Pride seems to be much more important than anything else but it enables you to lose someone important. There is a friend of mine who can be open up with another half till the fact that even he/ she had done a grave mistake, the another party would still be able to forget it. Finally, I begin to see myself lurking in the shadows but it's time to know how to let it go. I am 21 but age doesn't mean anything. I realise the fact that someone rather spend time out with friends rather than be with me or maybe this is a fact that I had already understand long time ago.
What to do? Love is an amazing thing that it's a norm when people started to cherish after they had lost it and realised things that shouldn't they can't see when they are in the picture. Best part, love is about forgiving and forgetting at times too but eventually still, I need the courage to move on.
My eyes bleed. My heart sank. My life suck but still I know there're a bunch of friends out there by my side. I think I had lost myself 4 years ago. I always thought that I would be happy by the side but still, I lived myself the way that people want me to be and I couldn't have much thoughts about it.
What is life you tell me? If I could turn the clock back, I would do it like 2 years ago, on my birthday. The moment I say yes meant everything to someone and I shouldn't have done so without any faith.
I am sucha disappointment, dear.
Reading through the past entries made me realise that how I had taken you for granted and not loving you as much as I should be.
What to do? Love is an amazing thing that it's a norm when people started to cherish after they had lost it and realised things that shouldn't they can't see when they are in the picture. Best part, love is about forgiving and forgetting at times too but eventually still, I need the courage to move on.
My eyes bleed. My heart sank. My life suck but still I know there're a bunch of friends out there by my side. I think I had lost myself 4 years ago. I always thought that I would be happy by the side but still, I lived myself the way that people want me to be and I couldn't have much thoughts about it.
What is life you tell me? If I could turn the clock back, I would do it like 2 years ago, on my birthday. The moment I say yes meant everything to someone and I shouldn't have done so without any faith.
I am sucha disappointment, dear.
Reading through the past entries made me realise that how I had taken you for granted and not loving you as much as I should be.
When The Clock Strike Twelve
Cinderella's story would return to the same.
No more magic but the plain old thing.
Apparently I had alot to say right now and I think this will be the longest entry of all time. Yes, I bet that this is going to be the one as my heart was teared apart too upon knowing certain things. Oh well, it must be some pure bullshits and lies. Whatever, only me, myself and I knew it.
Life hasn't been great reason being I am getting a little pissed with myself for not knowing what I want in life. I am choking myself with some emotions now. I had a list fo things to say but the fact it, I couldn't put it into words/ text. This is way too much for me to handle but apparently, the break up would be real for sure and finally, it's time to do some confessions and self-reflections.
My life was in a total darkness when I meet this guy called Alex. Oh yes, I met him through my religion group and too from the place called Friendster where everything officially started. It was a great start as during the honeymoon period, he would be sweet enough to cook me food, be there for me during the darkness. He accompanied through the tough days from the shadow of Gilbert and also my grandma's death. He had been with me through up and down even though we had moved on to become stagnant with regard to our relationship due to the fact that I had become a PR at his house.
Soon begin, I realise that I wasn't living for myself but him. I became under his control, what he wants me to be and stuffs. Great, apparently the relationship was still stable in due to the fact that, I had not seen what the real world is like. Although misunderstandings kept on rising, we manage to deal with it and move on.
And I started my first job then second and stuffs. Conflicts between being close with my ex-colleague and various become the topic of the arguement. To me now, I realised, no matter what happened, no one can be close especially when you are of an opposite gender. Oh well, he proposed to me on my 19th birthday but guess what, I realised the fact that I was never that contented.
I begin to feel that I was outta his world. I feel as if the MCP in him had took over my whole life. I need that love and attention but it wasn't there. I need someone hug and cuddle me to sleep but it wasn't there. And soon, last year I begin to be damn guai lan and the worst fear had came. I got the most wonderful birthday celebration last year. Pun intended. It wasn't that enjoyable but still, I decide to turn the table around with a whole new perceptive. But still, it was the same. I tried.
And finally I gave up hope. It was true that I took him for granted but thinking back, all the things I did, was it because I owe it to him or what? The love and attention was all bullshits. Because the efforts wasn't recognised and I begin to detest every single day of my life but the truth is, he holds a place in my heart. It was true that you begin to treasure and cherish someone when he/ she is longer there and I bet he and I felt it. The feeling sucks but still, I couldn't bring myself to love anymore due to the fact that certain incidents that he promised won't happen, happened and yes it did happen.
And of course, I didn't keep to my promise either. I did let certain opportunities to come in and let it flow. At times, I really hope that he would cherish me more but he didn't. It was more than other thing else than love. But the fact is, I definitely think that he deserved someone better.
I need love and attention every single moment of my life and I need to be pamper like a princess. Apparently I know it's hard to have this kind of life again after certain incident but the faith is strong. Still, it didn't happen. Great. Thus the bitch in me decide to seek it somewhere else.
All I got was love and attention but the fact is that, I did not love the person as much as I do to him. See, the fact is that I couldn't have both worlds and decide the fact that its time for me to do something.
And till now, I can't decide whether to love or be loved. But apparently, it's too late now. I can't do anything to it because I no longer pin hope.
It suppose to be a weekend to look forward to but everything had come to an end and I finally put a full stop to it.
My feelings are as if it's in a blender now and realised that, I couldn't live without someone but the fact is, he could live without me. Thus I see no point in a one-sided love kind of thing.
Till date. All I could say is a Big Thank You for whatever you have done and had contributed to the 4 years of happiness. I am going to pack the sorrows and dumped it along with the full stop.
My tears will continue to roll till it dried up. For such a bitch I am, I deserve no pity. To all, I wasn't a good girl afterall.
It took ample courage to admit it and I am going to move on with life.
Best of all, I had a home whereby I can't turn to.
No more magic but the plain old thing.
Apparently I had alot to say right now and I think this will be the longest entry of all time. Yes, I bet that this is going to be the one as my heart was teared apart too upon knowing certain things. Oh well, it must be some pure bullshits and lies. Whatever, only me, myself and I knew it.
Life hasn't been great reason being I am getting a little pissed with myself for not knowing what I want in life. I am choking myself with some emotions now. I had a list fo things to say but the fact it, I couldn't put it into words/ text. This is way too much for me to handle but apparently, the break up would be real for sure and finally, it's time to do some confessions and self-reflections.
My life was in a total darkness when I meet this guy called Alex. Oh yes, I met him through my religion group and too from the place called Friendster where everything officially started. It was a great start as during the honeymoon period, he would be sweet enough to cook me food, be there for me during the darkness. He accompanied through the tough days from the shadow of Gilbert and also my grandma's death. He had been with me through up and down even though we had moved on to become stagnant with regard to our relationship due to the fact that I had become a PR at his house.
Soon begin, I realise that I wasn't living for myself but him. I became under his control, what he wants me to be and stuffs. Great, apparently the relationship was still stable in due to the fact that, I had not seen what the real world is like. Although misunderstandings kept on rising, we manage to deal with it and move on.
And I started my first job then second and stuffs. Conflicts between being close with my ex-colleague and various become the topic of the arguement. To me now, I realised, no matter what happened, no one can be close especially when you are of an opposite gender. Oh well, he proposed to me on my 19th birthday but guess what, I realised the fact that I was never that contented.
I begin to feel that I was outta his world. I feel as if the MCP in him had took over my whole life. I need that love and attention but it wasn't there. I need someone hug and cuddle me to sleep but it wasn't there. And soon, last year I begin to be damn guai lan and the worst fear had came. I got the most wonderful birthday celebration last year. Pun intended. It wasn't that enjoyable but still, I decide to turn the table around with a whole new perceptive. But still, it was the same. I tried.
And finally I gave up hope. It was true that I took him for granted but thinking back, all the things I did, was it because I owe it to him or what? The love and attention was all bullshits. Because the efforts wasn't recognised and I begin to detest every single day of my life but the truth is, he holds a place in my heart. It was true that you begin to treasure and cherish someone when he/ she is longer there and I bet he and I felt it. The feeling sucks but still, I couldn't bring myself to love anymore due to the fact that certain incidents that he promised won't happen, happened and yes it did happen.
And of course, I didn't keep to my promise either. I did let certain opportunities to come in and let it flow. At times, I really hope that he would cherish me more but he didn't. It was more than other thing else than love. But the fact is, I definitely think that he deserved someone better.
I need love and attention every single moment of my life and I need to be pamper like a princess. Apparently I know it's hard to have this kind of life again after certain incident but the faith is strong. Still, it didn't happen. Great. Thus the bitch in me decide to seek it somewhere else.
All I got was love and attention but the fact is that, I did not love the person as much as I do to him. See, the fact is that I couldn't have both worlds and decide the fact that its time for me to do something.
And till now, I can't decide whether to love or be loved. But apparently, it's too late now. I can't do anything to it because I no longer pin hope.
It suppose to be a weekend to look forward to but everything had come to an end and I finally put a full stop to it.
My feelings are as if it's in a blender now and realised that, I couldn't live without someone but the fact is, he could live without me. Thus I see no point in a one-sided love kind of thing.
Till date. All I could say is a Big Thank You for whatever you have done and had contributed to the 4 years of happiness. I am going to pack the sorrows and dumped it along with the full stop.
My tears will continue to roll till it dried up. For such a bitch I am, I deserve no pity. To all, I wasn't a good girl afterall.
It took ample courage to admit it and I am going to move on with life.
Best of all, I had a home whereby I can't turn to.
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